BREAKING FREE FROM OVER-IDENTIFYING WITH TRAUMA: A JOURNEY BACK TO WHOLENESS
"You are not your trauma. You are the strength and resilience that has carried you through, and the joy and love that await on the other side of healing." ~ Angela xo
In a world that celebrates resilience and healing, it’s easy to fall into the pattern of defining yourself by your trauma. While it’s vital to acknowledge and process the painful experiences that have shaped you, healing also means recognizing that your identity is so much more than your wounds.
This article explores why over-identifying with trauma happens, how it can limit personal growth, and a journaling exercise to help you reconnect with the wholeness of who you are.
What Does It Mean to Over-Identify with Trauma?
Over-identification with trauma occurs when your painful experiences become the lens through which you see yourself and the world. It can look like:
Constantly revisiting past wounds without exploring the present or future.
Feeling defined by labels like “broken” or “damaged.”
Avoiding joy, creativity, or fulfillment because they feel out of reach—or even undeserved.
While it’s natural to focus on trauma during the healing process, staying there too long can create a cycle of self-limitation. Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past; it means integrating it into a fuller, richer narrative.
Why Does This Happen?
Validation: Trauma is often met with empathy and connection, which can reinforce focusing on it.
Familiarity: Pain can feel like a safe constant, making joy or change feel uncomfortable.
Cultural Conditioning: Wellness spaces often emphasize healing as a destination, creating pressure to “fix” every wound.
Fear of Vulnerability: Embracing joy and wholeness can feel vulnerable—like stepping into uncharted territory.
The Cost of Over-Identifying with Trauma
When trauma dominates your identity:
You may feel stuck in a cycle of processing, unable to move forward.
Joy, creativity, and connection can feel inaccessible or unimportant.
Your growth becomes defined by pain rather than by the fullness of life’s experiences.
The truth is, healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about integration—embracing the parts of you that feel tender and the parts that are thriving.
Reclaiming Your Wholeness: A Journaling Exercise
This exercise will help you shift your focus from trauma to wholeness, celebrating all parts of yourself—wounded and joyful.
Step 1: Set the Scene
Find a quiet, comfortable space where you can reflect without interruption. Grab your journal and a pen. Light a candle or play soft music if it helps you feel grounded.
Step 2: Ground Yourself
Take a few deep breaths. With each inhale, imagine drawing in light and warmth. With each exhale, release tension and pressure. Repeat this affirmation silently or aloud: “I am whole, just as I am. My story includes joy, strength, and healing.”
Step 3: Reflect and Write
Answer the following prompts to explore your relationship with trauma and reconnect with your wholeness:
Recognizing the Pattern
“What parts of my story have I been focusing on the most lately? Why?”
“How has focusing on these parts served me? How might it be limiting me?”
Shifting the Narrative
“What parts of my identity have I overlooked or dismissed because of my focus on trauma?”
“Who am I beyond my pain? What qualities, strengths, or passions define me?”
Reconnecting with Joy
“What brings me joy or fulfillment, even in small ways?”
“When was the last time I felt truly happy or at peace? What was I doing?”
Living Wholeness
“If I were to embrace my wholeness, what would that look like in my daily life?”
“What is one small action I can take today to reconnect with joy and balance?”
Step 4: Affirm and Commit
Write a personal affirmation based on your reflections. For example:
“I am more than my wounds. I am a mosaic of strength, love, and joy.”
“I honour my past while embracing the beauty of my present and future.”
Choose one joyful action from your reflections and commit to doing it today, no matter how small. It could be as simple as taking a walk, calling a friend, or dancing to your favourite song.
Living Beyond Trauma
Remember, healing doesn’t mean erasing pain—it means integrating it. You are not defined solely by what you’ve endured. You are a dynamic, multifaceted being, capable of joy, creativity, and connection.
By shifting your focus to wholeness, you open the door to a fuller, richer life. It’s not about ignoring your wounds; it’s about realizing they are just one part of the beautiful, complex story that is you.
Want to join a group of like-minded women that are increasing joy?
Try this journaling exercise and let it guide you back to the truth of your wholeness. If this resonates with you, consider joining The Empowered Soul Collective, where we explore these themes + more together in a supportive, growth-oriented community.
Are you ready to join a group of like-minded women committed to increasing joy and living authentically? Start with this journaling exercise to reconnect with the truth of your wholeness. If it resonates, imagine exploring these themes and more in The Empowered Soul Collective—a supportive, growth-oriented community designed to help you thrive.
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I’m Angela. As an educator, a therapist, and inner vibe guide I am here to help you reduce burnout and stress in your daily life so you have the time, energy and confidence to do what you love.