SOFTENING AS A FORM OF RESILIENCE
"True resilience is not found in how hard we hold on, but in how deeply we allow ourselves to soften, trust, and flow with life’s unfolding." – Angela xo
Lovingly Inspired by Angela Slade, MA, RCC, CMHIMP
Softening as a Form of Resilience: The Power of Surrendering to Strength
For much of my life, I equated resilience with pushing through—gritting my teeth, standing my ground, and proving I could handle whatever life threw my way. I wore my ability to endure as a badge of honor, believing that strength meant holding firm, never breaking, and always having the answers.
But life, in its infinite wisdom, had other plans.
When I was 42, burnout cracked me open. The loss of my father, deep exhaustion, and the slow realization that I was living a life that no longer fit me forced me into a reckoning. My nervous system was shot, my body ached with the weight of unresolved trauma, and my mind was trapped in cycles of over-responsibility and self-doubt. I had built resilience in the way I had been taught—by carrying more, holding on tighter, and being the "strong one" for everyone else. But the truth was, I wasn’t thriving. I was barely surviving.
And so, life whispered a different lesson: Softening is a form of resilience too.
What Softening Really Means
Softening isn’t about weakness or giving up. It’s about yielding where we once resisted, flowing where we once forced, and learning to trust life’s natural rhythm. It’s about recognizing that resilience isn’t just about enduring hardships; it’s about adapting, surrendering, and allowing ourselves to be held, too.
For me, softening looked like:
Releasing the belief that I had to do it all alone. I started leaning into community, sisterhood, and spaces where I didn’t have to have all the answers.
Listening to my body. Instead of pushing through exhaustion, I learned to rest, to nourish, and to honour my energy cycles.
Feeling my emotions instead of suppressing them. The grief, the rage, the unspoken wounds—I let them move through me instead of bottling them up.
Letting go of the need for control. Instead of micromanaging every outcome, I practiced trust—trust in myself, trust in life, and trust in the unseen forces guiding me.
Softening is an active choice, not a passive one. It takes courage to lay down the armor, to stop fighting battles that no longer serve us, and to open our hearts to a different kind of strength—the kind that bends but doesn’t break, the kind that adapts and allows, the kind that breathes and flows.
Resilience Through the Feminine Lens
As women, we are often taught that to be strong, we must act in ways that align with the masculine ideal—assertive, unshakable, always pushing forward. But the feminine holds a different kind of power. She is the river that carves through mountains, not by force but by surrender. She is the tree that bends with the wind instead of snapping under pressure. She is the one who knows that softness is not a liability but a superpower.
I see this in the women I work with—women who have spent years holding it all together, carrying the weight of family, careers, and past wounds. When they begin to soften, something profound happens. Their resilience doesn’t disappear; it transforms. It becomes fluid, alive, and deeply intuitive. They become rooted, not rigid—able to move with life instead of against it.
How to Cultivate Resilient Softening in Your Own Life
Practice Receiving. Let people support you. Ask for help. Allow yourself to be nurtured instead of always being the nurturer.
Tune Into Your Nervous System. Pay attention to where you feel tension and resistance. Breathe. Stretch. Release.
Trust Your Cycles. Not every season is for pushing. Some seasons are for resting, some for grieving, some for dreaming. Honor where you are.
Embrace Emotional Alchemy. Instead of shutting down difficult emotions, let them flow through you. Cry. Scream. Laugh. Move. Feel it all.
Let Go of the Illusion of Control. Surrender is not the same as passivity. It’s an act of deep trust—trust in yourself, in the universe, and in the path unfolding before you.
Softening as an Act of Self-Trust
As I reflect on my own journey, I see now that softening didn’t make me less resilient; it made me more resilient. It connected me to my deepest wisdom, my intuition, and my ability to move through life’s challenges with grace instead of force.
It has allowed me to heal. To rise. To thrive.
And perhaps, most importantly, it has allowed me to be fully myself—without the heavy armor, without the exhaustion, without the need to prove anything to anyone.
So if you, too, find yourself at a crossroads, exhausted from the weight of always being "strong"—know this: Softening is not surrendering your power. It’s reclaiming it.
And in that softening, you may just find a strength you never knew you had.
With love and resilience,
Angela
Join Me! I am hosting AMPIFY 2025 on International Women’s Day - March 8th. And it is FREE!
The Future Is Feminine—And It Includes YOU
Women in midlife are not asking for permission anymore. We are stepping into our wisdom, claiming our space, and building a future where our voices, ideas, and leadership shape the world.
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Date: March 8, 2025 – International Women’s Day
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What to Expect: A powerful conversation about midlife reinvention, self-trust, and stepping into your most unapologetic, empowered self in 2025.
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