CONFRONTING SHAME: THE PATH TO INNER PEACE AND WHOLENESS
Using the Four Layers of Self-Integration: Mind, Emotions, Body, & Soul
This morning, I pulled out my oracle cards and received profound messages that deeply resonated with me: "When we connect with all the moments on our timeline, we truly find our wholeness" and "I am at peace with my past. It has brought me to where I am meant to be." These messages echoed a truth I’ve been embodying, leading me to craft my own affirmation: "I am grateful for my past, for it has brought me to the moment of inner peace and deep connection I experienced yesterday."
Reflecting on my journey, I realized that breaking the cycle of genetic and familial trauma, especially around shame, required me to confront the emotion of shame itself, rather than focusing solely on the events or memories tied to it. I learned that shame, as a visceral sensation within my body, became a guide for my healing. Setting the intention to break the cycle of shame led to actionable steps that helped me release this deeply ingrained energetic pattern.
Recently, I experienced a moment of wholeness that would have typically been overshadowed by shame. The feeling of wholeness resonated as an inner peace, a sensation that I’ve longed to experience. It happened at the beach, where I was in a bikini, watching my dogs play, swimming in the lake, and enjoying a beautiful day with my husband. In that moment, I felt fully at home in my body, free from the shame that had once clouded similar experiences.
This shift didn’t happen overnight. It was the result of a model I teach inside the HRT Academy called the Four Layers: Mind, Emotions, Body, and Soul. I learned about these layers from a somatic business coach I hired a few years ago, and this model became a grounding force in my self-discovery work. Integrating all four layers has been essential in aligning with my true self, and it’s what led me to experience wholeness, inner peace, and joy more frequently.
For years, I tried to navigate through shame using positive thinking, but I soon realized that bypassing the emotions, sensations, and soul elements of my being only prolonged the cycle. I couldn’t just think my way through shame or rely on external validation, like restrictive dieting to achieve a socially acceptable body. These actions only fed the emotional defense of perfectionism, keeping shame at bay until I inevitably exhausted myself. This approach led to a rebound effect, where the cycle of shame would resurface, stronger than before.
I then shifted my focus to the “Body Acceptance Movement,” but even this didn’t bring the wholeness I sought. Though these movements promote social acceptance, I still wasn’t fully aligned with my own self-acceptance. I’ve witnessed this same resistance in my clients—women who struggle with diet culture, body acceptance, self-worth, and self-esteem. The external world can trigger cycles of shame, but true internal wholeness isn’t fully realized by merely addressing societal standards or stigma.
The internal world must be addressed, too. Shame, worthiness, and peace cannot be fully processed until we understand how our patterns, behaviors, beliefs, and actions sustain them. We must face the energetic imprint of shame and reprogram it to achieve the vibrational alignment of wholeness. Our soul knows the truth of our desire for wholeness, and our body, as the vessel for this journey, communicates the information we need to course-correct or to affirm we are on the right path.
A pivotal moment in my journey came during a zip-lining accident in 2013. As I crashed onto the platform, my mind tried to push through with positive thinking: “You’re fine, just suck it up.” But in the years following, this incident resurfaced during a healing session, where I realized the theme was betrayal. I felt betrayed by those around me for not getting me the medical attention I needed, but ultimately, I betrayed myself by using positive thinking and emotional defenses to avoid facing shame. Instead of attending to my body’s needs, I prioritized social salvation from shame, leading to a deep disconnection from my inner knowing.
This disconnection sustained the imprint of shame within me. It was a missed opportunity to integrate my wholeness and to honor my worth as a human being. Humor has since become a part of my healing process—a playful, loving, and compassionate entry point to walking myself through the trauma of shame and toward the wholeness I now experience.
Yesterday, at the beach, I felt that wholeness. Sitting in my bikini, watching my dogs play, swimming in the lake, and engaging in conversation with my husband, I felt fully aligned. My mind, emotions, body, and soul were in harmony, and I celebrated this inner space that now resides within me. I shared this silent victory with my husband, who acknowledged my journey and the work I’ve done to get here.
This moment of feeling deeply seen was what I had been chasing my whole life. But the key was not chasing it—it was deeply seeing myself in my shame, allowing me to open my heart to receive that connection.
I share this personal story with the hope of inspiring or awakening something within you on your own path to wholeness. Remember, true wholeness comes from within, through the integration of all aspects of our being.
I want to extend a warm invitation to you. If you’re looking for a supportive community where you can connect with other midlife women on a similar journey, I’d love for you to join my private RISE with Angela Facebook Group. It’s a special space where we come together to share, support, and thrive as we navigate our paths to healing and self-acceptance.
For those of you who are ready to dive even deeper into your healing journey, be sure to sign up for my email list. By joining, you’ll receive updates on when enrollment opens for my HRT Academy. This is where I teach how to embrace the Four Layers of healing—Mind, Emotions, Body, and Soul—within a transformative program and a community of women who are committed to rising together.
If you enjoyed this blog, I’d love for you to listen to Episode 4 of the RISE with Angela podcast where I talk about this further and lead you through some tips at the end of the this short 15 minute podcast.
Thank you so much for reading my blog today. I can’t wait to connect with you more and support you on your journey.
Much love and joy,
Angela xo
I’m Angela. As an educator, a therapist, and inner vibe guide I am here to help you reduce burnout and stress in your daily life so you have the time, energy and confidence to do what you love.