HEALING GRIEF: INTEGRATING MIND, EMOTIONS, BODY, AND SOUL WITH NEUROSCIENCE
“Healing is not about forgetting but about integrating your experiences into a more authentic, empowered, and joyful way of being, supported by the incredible adaptability of the human brain and spirit.”
Grief is an all-encompassing experience that impacts every aspect of our being—mind, emotions, body, and soul. By exploring these four layers through the lens of neuroscience, we can gain a deeper understanding of how grief affects us and how we can navigate it in a way that leads to healing, empowerment, and the transformation of pain into purpose and joy.
Layer 1: Mind - Uncovering Limiting Beliefs and the Neuroscience of Thought Patterns
Our mindset and beliefs shape how we experience and process grief. Limiting beliefs, often influenced by social and cultural expectations, can impede our healing process. These beliefs are deeply rooted in the brain’s neural pathways, which are reinforced through repetition over time.
Possible Limiting Beliefs:
"I should be over this by now."
"Grief is a sign of weakness."
"I must stay strong for others and not show my emotions."
"Crying or showing sadness means I am not coping well."
"I shouldn’t feel happy or find joy after such a loss."
Neuroscience Insight: The brain is highly adaptable, a characteristic known as neuroplasticity. This means that our thoughts and beliefs can be rewired through conscious effort and repetition. Limiting beliefs are formed and maintained through neural circuits that become more entrenched the more they are used. However, with intentional practice, we can create new, more empowering thought patterns.
How to Work with Limiting Beliefs:
Identify the Belief: Reflect on any thoughts or beliefs that surface when you think about your grief. Write them down to bring them into conscious awareness.
Challenge the Belief: Question the validity of these beliefs. Ask yourself, “Is this belief true?” and “Where did this belief come from?” Consider whether this belief serves your healing or hinders it.
Re-frame the Belief: Replace limiting beliefs with more empowering ones. For example, re-frame “I should be over this by now” to “Grief has no timeline, and I will heal at my own pace.”
Neural Reconditioning: Use repetition and affirmations to reinforce new beliefs. Each time you practice a new belief, you are strengthening new neural pathways in your brain.
Example: If you believe that showing sadness is a sign of weakness, reframe this belief by recognizing that expressing emotions is a natural and healthy part of the healing process. Affirmations like “It’s okay to feel and express my emotions” can help shift your mindset by rewiring your neural circuits.
Layer 2: Emotions - Processing Unfelt Emotions and the Neuroscience of Emotional Regulation
Emotions are central to the grieving process, and unprocessed emotions can become trapped in the body, leading to physical symptoms and chronic states of distress. The brain’s limbic system, particularly the amygdala, plays a crucial role in processing and regulating emotions.
Possible Emotions and Physical Manifestations:
Sadness: Can manifest as heaviness in the chest or throat.
Anger: Might be experienced as tension in the shoulders, jaw, or fists.
Guilt: Can create a knot in the stomach or a sinking feeling.
Fear/Anxiety: Often felt as a tightness in the chest, rapid heartbeat, or shallow breathing.
Shame: Might present as a desire to hide or withdraw, leading to slumped posture or a feeling of being small.
Neuroscience Insight: Emotional experiences are processed in the limbic system, with the amygdala responsible for detecting threats and triggering emotional responses. When emotions are not fully processed, they can become stored in the body, leading to somatic symptoms. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-order thinking and emotional regulation, can help modulate these responses when engaged through mindfulness and reflective practices.
How to Process Emotions:
Acknowledge the Emotion: Allow yourself to fully recognize and name the emotion you are feeling without judgment. This engages the prefrontal cortex, helping to regulate the emotional response.
Tune into the Body: Notice where in your body you feel the emotion. Pay attention to any physical sensations, such as tightness, heaviness, or discomfort.
Use Breathwork: Deep, conscious breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the amygdala and reducing the intensity of the emotional response.
Express the Emotion: Find a safe way to express your emotions, whether through talking, writing, art, or physical movement. This helps release the stored emotional energy from the body.
Example: If you’re holding onto anger after a loss, you might notice tension in your jaw or fists. Practicing deep breathing and focusing on relaxing these areas can help calm the amygdala, allowing you to process and release the anger more effectively.
Layer 3: Body - Releasing Trapped Sensations and the Neuroscience of Somatic Awareness
Grief often manifests in the body as chronic physical states, such as depression, anxiety, or shame. These sensations are not only psychological but also physiological, involving the brain’s stress response systems, including the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis.
Common Somatic Manifestations:
Depression: Can feel like a heaviness or numbness in the body, often accompanied by fatigue or lack of motivation.
Anxiety: Might present as restlessness, tension, or a feeling of being on edge.
Shame: Can cause a slumped posture, avoidance of eye contact, or a sense of shrinking inwards.
Neuroscience Insight: The HPA axis regulates the body’s response to stress, releasing cortisol and other stress hormones. Chronic activation of this system, as seen in prolonged grief, can lead to physical symptoms such as tension, fatigue, and immune system suppression. Engaging in practices that promote somatic awareness can help deactivate this stress response and restore balance to the body.
How to Work with Somatic Sensations:
Body Awareness: Regularly tune into your body to become aware of any sensations or areas of tension. This awareness activates the brain’s insular cortex, which is involved in interoception, or the sense of the body’s internal state.
Somatic Exercises: Engage in exercises that help release trapped energy, such as shaking, stretching, or gentle movement practices like tai chi or qigong. These practices can help reset the nervous system.
Grounding Techniques: Grounding exercises, such as standing barefoot on the earth, can help you reconnect with your body and release tension. Grounding has been shown to lower cortisol levels and reduce the body’s stress response.
Therapeutic Touch: Practices like massage, acupuncture, or craniosacral therapy can support the release of trapped sensations and restore balance in the body by activating the parasympathetic nervous system.
Example: If you’re experiencing anxiety with shallow breathing and tightness in your chest, practicing deep breathing exercises, yoga, or even simply placing your hand on your chest while breathing deeply can help soothe the nervous system and release the tension.
Layer 4: Soul - Connecting with Deep Truths and Desires and the Neuroscience of Meaning-Making
Grief often brings us face-to-face with our deepest truths and desires. It invites us to reflect on what truly matters and how we want to live our lives moving forward. By connecting with our soul’s wisdom, we can transform grief into a source of empowerment and purpose.
Exploring Deep Truths and Desires:
What do you truly value in life?
What lessons has your grief taught you about yourself and the world?
What purpose or meaning do you find in your loss?
What desires or dreams have been awakened by this experience?
Neuroscience Insight: The brain’s default mode network (DMN), which is active during introspection and self-reflection, plays a key role in meaning-making and connecting with our deeper values. Engaging in practices that activate the DMN, such as meditation, journaling, or spiritual reflection, can help you tap into your soul’s desires and create a sense of purpose from your grief.
How to Incorporate Adaptive Actions:
Soulful Reflection: Spend time in reflection or meditation to connect with your inner wisdom. Ask yourself what your soul desires in this next chapter of your life.
Adaptive Actions: Identify actions that align with your soul’s desires and integrate them into your daily life. These actions should reflect the lessons and growth that have emerged from your grief.
Rituals and Practices: Create rituals that honor your loss and support your healing. Rituals engage the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and fostering a sense of meaning and connection.
Empowerment Through Purpose: Use your grief as a catalyst to pursue new goals, passions, or ways of being that align with your soul’s calling. Purpose-driven actions activate the brain’s ventral striatum, which is associated with motivation and positive emotions.
Example: If your grief has led you to value connection and community more deeply, you might choose to volunteer, start a support group, or make more intentional efforts to nurture your relationships. These adaptive actions transform your grief into a source of empowerment and purpose, reinforcing positive neural pathways.
Empowering Yourself to Alchemize Pain into Purpose, Joy, and Empowerment
The journey of grief, though painful, can be a profound catalyst for personal growth and transformation. By working with the mind, emotions, body, and soul through the lens of neuroscience, you can move from a place of pain to one of purpose, joy, and empowerment.
Mindset Shifts: Continuously challenge and reframe limiting beliefs that no longer serve you. Embrace a mindset that honors your unique grief journey and empowers you to live authentically, rewiring your brain for resilience and positivity.
Emotional Resilience: Build emotional resilience by regularly processing and releasing emotions. This resilience, supported by the brain’s neuroplasticity, allows you to navigate future challenges with greater ease and openness.
Body Empowerment: Listen to your body and respond to its needs with compassion. Engage in practices that support physical and emotional release, helping you move out of chronic states of tension or distress and reestablishing balance in your nervous system.
Soulful Living: Align your actions with your soul’s deepest truths and desires. By living in harmony with your soul, you transform grief into a source of empowerment and create a life filled with purpose and joy, engaging the brain’s systems for meaning, reward, and fulfillment.
Grief is a complex and multi-layered experience that touches every aspect of our being. By navigating grief through the lens of self-integration—mind, emotions, body, and soul—and incorporating insights from neuroscience, you can move toward healing and transformation. This journey involves uncovering limiting beliefs, processing emotions, releasing trapped sensations in the body, and connecting with our soul’s deepest truths and desires.
Through this holistic and scientifically grounded approach, you can empower yourself to alchemize pain into purpose, find joy amidst sorrow, and emerge from grief with a renewed sense of self and a deeper connection to life. Healing is not about forgetting but about integrating your experiences into a more authentic, empowered, and joyful way of being, supported by the incredible adaptability of the human brain and spirit.
You are welcome here…
I want to extend a warm invitation to you. If you’re looking for a supportive community where you can connect with other midlife women on a similar journey, I’d love for you to join my private RISE with Angela Facebook Group. It’s a special space where we come together to share, support, and thrive as we navigate our paths to healing and self-acceptance.
For those of you who are ready to dive even deeper into your healing journey, be sure to sign up for my email list. By joining, you’ll receive updates on when enrollment opens for my HRT Academy. This is where I teach how to embrace the Four Layers of healing—Mind, Emotions, Body, and Soul—within a transformative program and a community of women who are committed to rising together.
I’m Angela. As an educator, a therapist, and inner vibe guide I am here to help you reduce burnout and stress in your daily life so you have the time, energy and confidence to do what you love.